1. Most people, most of the time, judge you by what you’re wearing, and if you care what people think, you should care about what you wear. Life doesn’t get much simpler than that.

2. If you like something, respect it. Hang your pants. Roll your ties. Put shoe trees in your shoes. Oh, and wire hangers? The instruments of Beelzebub and, coincidentally, dry cleaners. Stick with wooden ones.

3. Pull yourself together. Always. Everywhere. Whether you’re going to the deli or on a date, every occasion has minimum standards. Try to meet them.

4. People who are slaves to matching (e.g., belts to shoes, socks to trousers) are shallow and tend to lack in the friends department. Anyone points out that something doesn’t match? Punch him. That’ll teach him.

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